Category: walang laman, sabaw lang.


Dinning for Customer Only

DINNING – the act of eating dinner

for CUSTOMER ONLY: they only serve one customer at a time??

Hindi ko alam actually kung anong gagawin ko: tatawa ba ako o sasabihin ko sa kanila na may mali sa post nilang to?? :/

ten.

puno at siksikan, ang huling pasahero ay tumabi sayo. nakaready ka nang umupo sa edge para makamove in sya. but no, hindi pa rin sya umupo ng sagad at ngayon ay pareho na kayong dalawa na nahihirapang isiksik ang pwet sa edge. at tingin mo ay wala rin syang balak mag move inwards, nakakainis di ba?

nayn.

may isang pasahero na nagaabot ng bayad ngunit ang iba mong katabi ay walang pakialam kaya no choice ka na abutin na lang yun kahit 5 tao ang pagitan nyo. sana sa pagsakay mo sa jeep ay tanggapin mo rin ang social responsibility na mag-abot ng bayad.

eyt.

the other way around, may nag-aabot ng bayad mula sa pasaherong nasa dulo ng jeep at may isang excited na pasaherong nasa likod ni manong driver na nakaextend na ang kamay at tipong nagpepresenta na siya na lang ang mag-abot ng bayad. excited nga.

seben.

bumaba ang maraming pasahero sa isang jeepney stop, ibig sabihin ay maluwag/lumuwag na ang jeep, ngunit ang katabi ay ayaw pa ring umuusog kahit na umusog ka at iparamdam mo sa kanya na umusog na dapat na siyang umusog. medyo nakakainis pag masyado na ata kayong intimate.

siks.

in line with that, may isang pasaherong sumakay at naghahanap ng mauupuan. at ang gagawin naman ng iba, uusog sila ng uusog hanggang ang matirang upuan ay yung nasa likod na nag driver. eh pano kung matanda yun o kaya buntis, tsktsk!

payb.

sa kabilang banda, may mga taong kebs lang kung may pasaherong sumakay at ang ibang mga nakaupo ay walang balak o ayaw umusog. mas nakakainis kung ikaw yung taong naghahanap ng mauupuan, tsk.

por.

dahil na rin siguro sa ingay ng tao at mga sasakyan, hindi narinig ng driver na pumara ka na 30 segundo na ang nakakaraan. kawawa ka naman, kaya simulan mo nang maglakad pabalik.

tri.

pumunta naman tayo kay manong driver, nakakainis pag pumepreno kayo ng halos kada limang segundo, yung tipong magaadjust palang ang mga pasahero pabalik sa original posisyon nila ay pumreno na ulit kayo. mukha tuloy nagcha-chacha ang mga tao sa loob. hay…

tu.

at once na pumreno nang matindi si manong driver, lahat ng di alerto ay magugulat, lahat ng di nakahawak ay matutumba, lahat ng natutulog ay magigising, lahat ng nagsasalita ay mapapatigil at higit sa lahat ng pinakamatindi, lahat kayo ay mapupunta sa likod niya! bwisit.

pinaka.

at kung etiquette at dignidad ang paguusapan, maghintay ka na lang kung kelan ibalik ang sukli mo o kaya sabihin mo sa driver na hindi ka pa nasusuklian, hindi yung isisigaw mo pa na ‘MANONG YUNG SUKLI HO NG SAMPUNG PISO!!!’, o di ba nakakahiya. mawawalan ka talaga ng dignidad dude…

this is a series of four simple trick questions, represent human values and perspectives. do not scroll down and peek for the answers, unless you’ve done guessing. or you’ll find yourselves fooling around…

 

1. how can you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator?

2. how can you fit an elephant into the same refrigerator?

3. the lion set a meeting for all the animals of the jungle, which animal is absent in their conference?

 …

4. how can you cross a river (without a bridge) full of crocodiles?

 …

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 answers:

1. open the refrigerator, put the giraffe in, and close the door.

(don’t make things too complicated for you to understand what is being asked, and give your pertinent solution. and besides, the question doesn’t mention how big the ref is.)

2. you just have to take the giraffe out, then put the elephant in.

 (it reflects your character as a solution-seeker and not to give up easily. it shows how you react on problems you didn’t expect to come out.)

3. the elephant definitely doesn’t come, because he’s still in the ref. remember?

 (this test your memory span. think first before you present any irrelevant answers)

4. the best way is to swim.

 (you don’t remember about the meeting in the jungle, do you? the crocodiles can’t guard the river, because they’re in the assembly. well, the most important thing, learn from your mistakes)

 

µ      There are 86,400 seconds in a day.

µ      Using a scale of the earth being 1 day old, the human being has only existed for 36 seconds.

µ      If one was to weigh all of the land animals of the earth, 10% of that mass would be ants.

µ      Second to our sun, to reach the closest star to earth, Alpha Centauri, one would have to travel the speed of light for over 4 years.

µ      “Stewardesses” is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.

µ      There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

µ      A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

µ      It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

µ      There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

 

µ      All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

µ      No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.

µ      Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

µ      The longest one-syllable word in the English language is “screeched.”

µ      “Dreamt is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”.

µ      Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

µ      The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.

µ      A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours

µ       Almonds are a member of the peach family.

µ      There are more chickens than people in the world.

µ      A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. 

µ       An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

µ      Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

µ      A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

µ      The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

µ      There are only four words in the English language that end in “dous”: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

µ      The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

µ      It is impossible to lick your elbow.

µ      Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of their birthplace.

µ      Everyday more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.

µ      The cost of raising a medium-sized dog to the age of eleven: $6,400.

µ      The average number of people airborne over the U.S. any given hour: 61,000.

µ      “I am.” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

µ      Honey is the only food that doesn’t spoil.

µ      If you were to spell out numbers starting from “one”, the letter “a” would first appear as character 1000.

µ      At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

 

www.expandyourmind.com

i don’t know what to expect from a mentally-healthy person like me. should other people protest against this, i am a normal person. but i just don’t understand how i can’t manage things in their right manner,  on the right place, at the right time. i hate being sabaw, i mean, being sabaw for a day. from the time i woke up, til before i laid down, sabaw moments came in one by one.

in the morning.

my mom asked me to boil eggs for her recipe. after 10 mins, i gave her scrambled eggs, with onions! so, i have to go back to the kitchen to boil eggs. i decided to cook yakisoba as brunch. but as i’m pouring the seasoning, i remembered that i did not drain the water! damn. idol na kita jeff. i planned to watch tv before noon, but i found myself listening to max fm, and had lss on ‘if you seek amy’. my mom was just staring at me strangely, and i don’t know why.

lunchtime to afternoon.

i still kept on singing ‘if you seek amy’. my mom asked me why, sabi ko, ‘ah, naalala ko lang si aling amy sa marikina’…haha palusot pa. la la la la la la la la  la la la la la la la la.:d i insisted mom to buy albatross for our newly-cleaned bathroom (ehem…). she told me to do so, so i went to sm val. (un)luckily, i went home with a pair of slippers, safeguard, and shuttlecocks. hmm… haha! a customer asked for water, without giving much attention to him (dahil nakakaasar sya at napaka-demanding,) i gave him an extra rice! yun yung narinig ko eh, bakit ba.

evening.

my mom told me to wash the dishes, so inayos ko na lang yung mga lamesa at mga pinagkainan. ayoko ngang maghugas ng plato, kadiri. and the worst of all these pakshet kasabawan, i put facial scrub on my toothbrush. instead of the toothpaste tube, i realized that it was the facial scrub that i was squeezing.

how these things happen, is also a mystery for me. i am trying to be normal all the time, but subconsciously, sabaw na lang ako palagi. dahil ba ‘to sa hindi ko na pagkain ng karne at kanin lately (yihee..haha)? or my brain is left hanging after nakakaburyong dull moments in our house this summer? or is it natural!? tsktsk, pakshet.

diagnosed

this is a true story. i hope you would not find it funny or consider as a joke.

lately, i have been experiencing difficulty in viewing or sighting things clearly. some objects look blurred. there are instances that make my eyes teary and itchy. i cannot fairly see jeepney signboards at night. i cannot read a book unless it’s less than half a foot away from my face. i cannot easily recognize acquaintances on streets. and the worst, i experience mild headaches.

and so, my mom gets worried, as much as i am.

last on march 8, it was 9am, we went to a clinic. after taking some examinations, the general practitioner asked me questions regarding my reading habits. he told me that it is not for me to read on poor light, spend much time in front of a tv or computer and without having enough sleep. these factors triggered mainly with my sickness. he advised me to avoid things that could worsen my sufferings. he also asked my mom, and found out that we have the same sort of recurring roots of this illness. so, he presumed it as hereditary. he revealed that this condition could be prevented with preliminary remedy. he showed us an illustration on how this condition works. he explained that the cornea undergoes refractive error that resuls to the imperfection of the eye’s curvature which causes blurred or distorted vision.

 and then, silence took place. my mom was completely speechless. i told the doctor to clarify things, everything appear so ambiguous. afterwards, he told us what was that all about.

 

 i was diagnosed with ASTIGMATISM.

so, guys if you see me wearing eyeglasses, just bear with me. it should be taken seriously ’cause it’s for my own goodness.

it’s such a nice, unanticipated and a strange experience.

akala ko dati nasa isang isolated/deserted place ang new bilibid prison (nbp), but no,  para syang isang kahariang nasa malayong lugar, dahil na rin sa itsura ng building nito. from valenzuela to muntinlupa, almost five rides. first is a jeepney ride to lrt. nag-lrt kame from monumento to baclaran, it’s my first time to go to baclaran church, see la salle, manila city hall and post office and the pgh. from baclaran station, nag-jeep kame papuntang alabang, another jeep papuntang poblacion. lastly, nag-trike papasok ng nbp compound. nasa baba ung 3 pics na nakuha ko going inside nbp entrance, isang lagoon (national historical park, accdg sa nakalagay don), and the facade. we went through some inspections before going into the prisoners’ area. if you imagine that those people inside committed crimes, matatakot ka talaga. pero kung titingnan mo sila ng mabuti, mas mangingibabaw ang mga among mukha nila, despite of their tattoos all over their bodies. before entering, we have to submit our mobile phones and other accessories to a deposit counter. that is because bawal ang electronic devices, earphones, kahit charger, pointed objects and even food stuff. anyways, ng dinalaw nga pala namin (my mom, tito, tita, and my 2 cousins) ay yung anak ng tito ko sa una nyang asawa, in short parang pinsan ko na rin. before finally leaving the complex, dumaan muna kame sa parang ‘plaza’ nila where visitors usually spend their time. don may basketball court videoke, pond, bakery and sarisari stores at mga nagtitinda ng souvenir items na handcrafted ng mga prisoners.

to my surprise, when we arrived, kinwento sa ken ng tita ko na one my cousin’s inmates is isa sa mga suspects ng rape-murder case ng dalawang babae na tinapon sa isang bangin sa cebu. nakakagulat, hindi dahil sa kwento kundi dahil sa kung sino ang gumawa. hindi naman sya totally strange dahil at least hindi na ako ignorante sa ganung situation. ang masasabi ko lang, hindi ko inaasahan na marameng mga taong wala sa mukha ang kanilang mga ugali. at in fairness, hindi dahil nakagawa sila ng kasalanan ay hindi ibig sabihin ganon na ang kanilang image habangbuhay, mababait pa rin naman sila.

   

sundin ang ilang tips na ito para maiba naman ang maging araw mo…

 

una, sikmuraan mo ang unang taong makakasalubong mo at magsorry pagkatapos;

ikalawa, uminom ng pampatulog, tapos ay labanan ito sa pamamagitan ng pag-e-exercise;

ikatlo, tibagin ang inyong bahay gamit ang kutsara;

pang-apat, magkunwaring hinimatay sa libing ng isang taong di kilala;

pang-lima, tahiin ang pwet, at magpatingin sa doktor;

ikaanim, kurutin ang bunsong kapatid at unahan ito sa pag-iyak;

at panghuli, makipagtitigan ng walang kurapan sa iyong goldfish.

 

siguradong mag-i-iba ang araw mo pag nagawa mo ang mga bagay na ito…

(courtesy of bubble gang)

1. hindi dahil kaya mong gawin ang isang bagay ay dapat mo na tong gawin.

2. hindi mo dapat iniiyakan ang nakaraan. isipin mo, bakit nasa harap ang mga mata, ito ay para lagi mong makita ang iyong hinaharap

3. mahirap maging matanda. wala ng mas matanda pa na titingin sa yo.

4. wag mong ipakitang malungkot ka sa ibang tao kung wala kang balak mag-share ng problema mo. para kang nang-alok ng hopia pero di mo naman ibibigay.

5. hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin sa ‘yo ni Damulag dahil ibang araw na bukas, ipaubaya mo na lang sa hangin ang lahat.

…to be contd…

😀